But Down the Weapon

For some time now I've been battling with a deadly disease, a killer tongue. I have reached the point in my life where I can make a wise crack out of any comment thrown in my direction. I am sarcastic, rude, slick, and quick. Quite frankly, I am excellent at talking shit. It's first nature for me, almost like my native tongue. I watched my parents use this technique of communication and I picked it up, practiced it, and mastered it. They say each generation should be better than the last and I made this no exception. When I tell most people that I want to stop with all the slick comments they say, "Why, that's who you are." Damn. I don't want to be that person. With our mouths we speak from our hearts. Why is mine filled with such filth? Such death? When I tell others that I want to change because I don't know where to draw the line between harmless and harmful many agree. "Yeah Sharree, because you be damn near offending people," is the comment that rings in my head. Why do I joke to the point where it's no longer a joke, but an offense made against my love ones? They say all jokes have truth to them and that itself is true. I am truly being rude and unloving to the ones I claim to love. My tongue is a murderous weapon aiming to beat down and kill the spirits of my people. I do believe that I am not the only one with this deadly disease of a killer tongue, but it is a growing problem within the black community much like high blood pressure and diabetes. As I take time to examine the conversations of many of my peers it seems like a lot of people let negative comments spill out their mouths like waste fields. I coldest part about this observation is that most don't even notice, or even worse, they like it. Talking shit is all fun and games to the naive mind. But what is really happening is that it's a serious problem that we find it humorous and acceptable to speak negative things to one another and no one ever takes the time to give their brothers and sisters praise. I know that today I am praying for change. I want to give life to people's hopes, dreams, and spirits. I want to put down the murder weapon and try to resuscitate life into the dying minds of our people and teach the other fools who our slaying our people. Sticks and stones may hurt my bone, but our words are killing us.