Who do You Love?

Love is long suffering, love is kind, does not behave rudely, thinks no evil, does not seek its own, keeps no record of wrong, love bears all things. These are just a few characteristics of love and Already I have fallen short. Many times love is thought of as a feeling, not an action, and even less often thought of as a commandment by God. We say I love you to countless of people who enter our lives, but how many do we actually demonstrate true love to? As I sit and write this I must ask for forgiveness from you the reader and my heavenly Father for I have sinned against you all. I am rude, mean, short tempered, and self- centered. Even with my own baby I find myself getting frustrated and/or irritated with more ease than should be. In most actions I've taken satisfying me is the end goal, either stated or implied. My positive talk can easily be countered if I am angered, and I forget nothing. So yes, I remember how many times you sinned against me and my "good name". So at the end of the day who do I love?  Not my mother, not my father, nor sister, brother, cousin, friend or child. Not even God Himself. Now that's deep. Deep like the pain I bear with this realization. But what would I expect, we were all born of mere flesh and the flesh tells us to rebel against God so why would I be any different? I have accepted that we naturally care for others, but love.... love is something we must first acknowledge that we don't know and then strive to learn. Love is a process that requires conscience thought, and a lot of repentance. I am accepting that love is a foreign action unto my flesh, but it is something that my spirit must master. So when I tell you I love you and then sin against you, please forgive me, for I am trying to learn this thing called love.