Come Correct or Go Away

As I get older and more mature in my spirit and mind, I sit confused. While writing down the things I am to work on to better myself as a person, I also wrote down the things that must accompany a man in order to be a potential prospect in courtship. Holding the top three positions are 1. A job 2. A car 3. A place of his own. Even typing this right now I am perplexed. Why is it necessary for me to right this down? I’ll tell you why; because men don’t seem to understand that these things are essential for me to even consider you a man, let alone a man worth me investing in. I am 25 years old, holding down two jobs, paying my own car note, living on my own, and taking damn good care of my child on my own. Why on earth would I ever get involved with someone who can’t even offer me the equivalent of myself when he is supposed to be my better half? The saying goes, “I can do bad all by myself” and I add “but I won’t”. Now, I won’t blame these fellas that don’t have anything totally for my confusion because yes, only a short while ago did I give them room to play. I would never sit here a lie and say that I’ve never got involved with a guy that fits this description that falls short of a man, but I am a grown woman now and I’ve put childish things away.  So I take this time to say if you don’t have anything on your own, I don’t have anything to offer you. Do they really think that good looks and a charming personality are suffice? They do; well boys do anyways and I graduated from high school years ago. Am I supposed to be preparing to be a good wife, or a mother to the world? Dealing with boys hoping to blend in with men are the reason I am where I am in life. I’m not mad at the lesson learn, but believe that I do not need to repeat the course. The only boy I’m allowing in my life is the one who emerged from my womb. Being an adult is hard, but aging by the day and never becoming one makes an even harder life. Simply put, I refuse to take on that burden that belongs to someone else.